My TikTok For You Page has decided I need to care about scrub cloths.
Not one scrub cloth. Two. Apparently there’s an African one and a Japanese one, and the internet has opinions. Strong ones. The kind of opinions usually reserved for, I don’t know, actual world events. Things that matter. Things that affect your 401k.
But scrub cloths? Oh, we have takes on scrub cloths.
I should back up.
Like a lot of people, I spend a probably inadvisable amount of time on TikTok. And like a lot of people, I’ve made peace with the fact that the algorithm knows me better than I know myself. It knows I’ll watch a video about a guy fixing a vintage lawnmower at 11:30 at night. It knows I’m a sucker for a dog doing something stupid. Fine. Fair. The algorithm and I have an understanding.
But lately, my For You Page has been hijacked by an ongoing debate I did not ask to join: which is the superior exfoliating cloth — the African kind or the Japanese kind?
Influencers are weighing in. Skin care enthusiasts have opinions. Comment sections are… spirited. People are apparently very invested in what you use to scrub yourself down in the shower.
I have a brush.
It’s a regular brush. It has a handle. It does the thing brushes do. I bought it at some point — I genuinely cannot remember when or where — and it has performed its singular job without complaint or drama ever since.
It does not have a country of origin that I’m aware of. It is not affiliated with any content creator. It has never asked me to use a promo code.
It’s just a brush.
And yet here I am, at the crossroads of a global scrub cloth discourse, being asked — implicitly, algorithmically — to pick a side. To declare my allegiance. To go full African Cloth or ride hard for the Japanese Cloth and defend that position in the comments.
I’m going to pass.
Look, I understand how this works. The influencer economy runs on micro-obsessions. If you can get people to care deeply about something they’ve never thought about before — a specific brand of olive oil, a particular style of water bottle, the correct way to fold a fitted sheet — you have content. You have engagement. You have a sponsorship deal and a discount code and a follow-up video when someone challenges your take.
It’s a whole thing. I get it.
But I want to register, for the record, that some of us are out here just trying to get clean and get on with our day. Some of us have a brush. It works fine. We are not in the market for a cloth-based identity.
My FYP will probably keep trying. Tomorrow it’ll be a debate about the right kind of loofah. Next week, some guy will go viral for his unconventional views on washcloths. The algorithm is patient and it has infinite content.
But I will be here. With my brush.
Unbothered.

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Michael Freeze is a features editor at Transport Topics. He has a brush and he is fine.