Canine Confessions #1: Crazy Humans

“Willa” from Cincinnati:
“I love to hang around the house. I roam freely with no worries. You have the occasional moving objects and occurring smells, but it comes with the territory, you know. There’s a light-brown pillow I rest on near our fireplace. More like MY fireplace. It’s comforting. My philosophy in life is that stress is my enemy. It’s best not to have it near me. I’m a screamer when I’m stressed.
Which brings me to my mommy… she’s not too bright.
For instance, there’s this S-shaped thingy-mick-jiggy I like to chew on from time to time. I’m so at peace with that thing, it’s like we’re one. But every now and then, my mommy comes up and tries to yank it out of my mouth. First time, it scared the shit out of me.
She’s fucking crazy, I thought to myself.
And she just keeps doing it. Crazy!
Oh… the thing that really gets me going is her obsession with sticks. We often go hiking in this wooded park. She’ll rub me as we walk, and that feels SO GOOD, but she’ll rip off a branch from a tree and, for no reason, randomly throw it off the trail.
I’m thinking she’s obviously crazy, but I figured I’d run and get it for her since she likes branches (and balls) so much. Then, out of the blue, SHE THROWS IT AGAIN!!!
Can you say “loopy”?
Ah… yeah… there’s this one time… when she had this hose out and I was really thirsty too, right? She had the hose hanging above me with the water flowing everywhere. I tried to get my tongue on the water, but she kept moving it. I was screaming but she just laughed like a crazy person.
It drives me nuts.

Something is wrong with her.

It sounds like I’m complaining but… Yeah, she feeds me, lets me me shit anywhere I want and hugs me A LOT.
But I think she’s not sharpest human out there.

But what human is?”

WILLA BEAN WRAP
One whole wheat tortilla
¼ cup of black beans
One or two tablespoons of tomatoes
One or two tablespoons of feta cheese
Two nuked eggs
(Optional) Two slices of turkey deli
Hot sauce to taste

Crack your eggs into a bowl. If you want to, put the black beans in the bowl. Microwave for 2 minutes. Put everything on the tortilla. Roll and there you go!

You got protein and some energy for the afternoon (or fourth meal time).

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