My super powers need a fixin’Posted: October 3, 2013
Being in the hospital sucks.
Having to work on your mobile computer through your stay really sucks.
Lucky for me, I didn’t have to stay the night. The doctor told me I’d be leaping buildings in a single bound in no time. Currently, it takes me about two or three tries.
During the surgery and between incisions, I had knocked out some work on my trusty laptop. So I thought.
It turns out that my evil nemesis hacked my secret account and was planning to copy my information and sell it on the black market. What made matters worse, I sensed a nefarious presence. I had thought it was the bad chili from the cafeteria, but I was mistaken.
I immediately turned to the doctor and asked if I could use her scalpel. She wanted to see my ID. I knew then it was a trap. Because there’s no such thing as a woman doctor. It was her, my nemesis.
You wouldn’t hit a girl, would you Mr. Freeze?
She was clever. And right.
While you were resting in Canton, I only got stronger. Thank you, Obamacare! Now, the government won’t stand between me and my patients. And most importantly, I lied when I told you about the leaping. THERE ARE NO BOUNDS OR BUILDINGS. I DESTROYED THEM ALL!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
From the years I’ve dealt with the evil fake doctor woman, I knew her chattiness was her weakness. As she rambled, I programmed my laptop to transform into a live Pinterest page of kittens. She was distracted by the cute and I again foiled her plan to destroy me and I was finally able to…
… get my work done.
One cup of peanut butter
One cup of honey
Three cups of oatmeal
One cup of your nuts of choice (peanuts, dried fruit, dried cranberries)
One cup of chocolate chips
1/2 cup of flaxseed
Depending on how you ball them up, you can 20, 30 or even 40 balls. You may smash them flat to make them cookies or stick them in a muffin tray for a cup. Regardless of how you do it, you will gain power and energy. It’s good for you.
Up, up and away!
LAST WEEK: 9-6
|Buffalo at Cleveland||8:25 PM||BUFFALO|
|SUN, OCT 6||TIME (ET)|
|New Orleans at Chicago||1:00 PM||NEW ORLEANS|
|New England at Cincinnati||1:00 PM||NEW ENGLAND|
|Detroit at Green Bay||1:00 PM||DETROIT|
|Kansas City at Tennessee||1:00 PM||KANSAS CITY|
|Seattle at Indianapolis||1:00 PM||SEATTLE|
|Jacksonville at St. Louis||1:00 PM||ST. LOUIS|
|Baltimore at Miami||1:00 PM||MIAMI|
|Philadelphia at NY Giants||1:00 PM||PHILADELPHIA|
|Carolina at Arizona||4:05 PM||ARIZONA|
|Denver at Dallas||4:25 PM||DENVER|
|Houston at San Francisco||8:30 PM||HOUSTON|
|San Diego at Oakland||11:35 PM||OAKLAND|
|MON, OCT 7||TIME (ET)|
|NY Jets at Atlanta||8:30 PM||ATLANTA|
|·Bye: Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, Washington|